翻译:小年糕 校对:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
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现在这位女演员没法演其他的剧了 And now this actress is having problems getting another series...
因为人人都当她艾芙琳 because everybody sees her as Evelyn.
我懂了 l see.
她们就想让她演艾芙琳 她摆脱不了这个人设了 They want her to bring Evelyn back. She can't get away from it.
这剧可以就叫《这不艾芙琳嘛?》 ln fact the series could be called Aren't you Evelyn?
或者《我不是艾芙琳》诸如此类 Or I'm Not Evelyn. Something like that.
- 我很喜欢 - 很有意思 对吧？ -l love it. -lt's funny, right?
我真的对此很兴奋 太棒了 非常好 l am just so excited about this. This is wonderful, this is great.
你能喜欢我也开心 l'm glad you like it.
不出我所料 我就知道你肯定是带着绝妙的点子来的 l'm not surprised. I knew you would come here with something brilliant.
- 你做到了 - 很有趣 -You did. -lt's very funny.
我就是很激动 l am just so excited.
你怎么猛喝水啊？ What's with you and the water?
医生嘱咐的 说我脱水还是怎么着… Doctor's orders. l'm dehydrated or something...
得每天喝上八杯水 and l've got to drink 8 of these a day.
一直跑厕所 Constantly running to the bathroom.
还有一事儿就是杰森会和我们一起干 The other thing is that Jason will be working with us as well.
- 哪个杰森？ - 亚历山大 -Jason? -Alexander.
亚历山大 你不是逗我呢吧？ Alexander, you're kidding me?
- 没有 是不是很棒？ - 他演什么？ -No, isn't that great? -What's he doing?
一位励志演说家 lt's about a motivational speaker.
- 什么时候定的？ - 几周前吧 -When did that happen? -Past few weeks.
我们开了几次会并且就快要定下来了 We've had a few meetings and we're very close to having it happen.
我能问问你们在哪见的吗？ Where did you meet, if I may ask?
- 就这儿 - 他来这儿？ -Here. -He came here?
是啊 杰森 来这儿 Yes, Jason, here.
到现在开了四次会了 多敬业的演员啊 About 4 meetings now. Such a wonderful actor.
是啊 没人比得上他 他是最棒的 Yeah, nothing like him. He's the greatest guy.
他们都和《宋飞正传》里饰演的人物迥然不同 They'll both be so different from how they were on Seinfeld.
好嘛 我对此真的迫不及待了 我觉得这次会是票大的 So, l'm just thrilled about this. l just think that this is grand.
要开绿灯 必须的 This is a green light, absolutely.
我真是太高兴了 l am so excited about this.
- 我们很乐意 - 谢谢 -We're delighted. -Thank you.
我很开心 l'm so pleased.
那么既然你们已经是 ABC 大家庭的了 So now that you're all part of the ABC family...
我们明晚会有一场《哈里特比彻斯托》放映会 we're having a screening of Harriet Beecher Stowe tonight.
我的天呐 我老婆的好朋友是那戏的艺术指导 Oh, my God. My wife's good friend was the art director on that.
- 我听说挺不错的 - 苏西近来如何？ -l heard it's great. -How is Susie?
我们分居了 我现在住酒店 We split up. l'm living in a hotel.
- 很遗憾听到这个消息 - 可别！多好的事儿 -l'm sorry to hear that. -Don't be! lt's great.
不过这是很棒的一个迷你剧 But it's a wonderful mini-series.
今晚放第一集 明晚第二集 Part 1 is tonight, part 2 is tomorrow night.
拍的漂亮极了 lt's just beautifully shot.
你们能来就最好了 Love you to come.
只是我大儿子得了红眼病 所以… The only thing is that my older kid has a pinkeye, so....
我是说 不是传染的 但… l mean, it's not contagious, but....
抱歉 你会来吧 拉里？ Sorry. You'll come, Larry?
- 会啊 肯定的 - 我们会去 一定 -Yeah, sure. -We'll go, sure.
完了以后 我们会在家里有个活动 安妮正在准备中… Afterwards, we're going to have something over at the house, Anne's preparing...
你也会来吧 来嘛？ and you can come along, all right?
好 很好 我们到那见吧 All right, good. We'll see you there.
哈里特比彻斯托和哈莉特塔布曼… What's the difference between Harriet Beecher Stowe...
有什么区别吗？ and Harriet Tubman?
我想我们应该在今晚来一发 l think we might be due for some sex tonight.
- 你这么想？- 是啊 -You think? -l do, yeah.
你就这么草拟了计划也不告诉我？ Did you pencil that in and didn't tell me?
我觉得马上要开始了 你俩是从这口进吗？ l think it's about to start. You guys going in over here?
- 是啊 - 我看见苏西从这口进去了 -Yeah. -l saw Susie walk in over there.
所以 我要从那边进去 我不在这儿啊 So, l'm gonna go in over there. l'm not here.
- 我没见过你 - 没见过我 -l haven't seen you. -Have not seen me.
好嘛 走了 一会儿再聊 All right, bye. l'll talk to you later.
呵呵 看不见他还挺难的吧 Yeah, he's hard to miss.
拉里 我很高兴你能过来 Larry, l'm so glad you were able to make it.
- 我是莱恩迈克尔森 您好吗？ - 他就是 ABC 的人 -l'm Lane Michaelson. How do you do? -He's the ABC guy.
我们都很高兴能和您丈夫共事 We are so happy to have your husband on board.
嘿 今晚会来我家房子里 对吧？ Listen, we're gonna see you tonight at the house, right?
- 嗯 在房子里 - 安妮很想见见你 拜托了 -Yes, at the house. -Anne wants to see you, so please.
- 真的吗？ - 对啊 好嘛 保重了 玩的开心啊 -Really? -Yes, okay, take care. Have a great time.
- 好好看片吧 - 谢谢了 -Enjoy the show. -Thank you.
我听着都累 l'm exhausted.
他今晚脑子里肯定装着一堆事儿 He must have a lot on his mind tonight.
- 这人 咖啡喝多了 - 着急赶趟的 -A lot of coffee, that man. -He was in such a hurry.
打扰一下 不能带食物和饮料入场 我很抱歉 Excuse me, there's no food or drink in the theater. l'm sorry.
是嘛？我有特殊情况 我真的得喝水 Really? I got a condition. l really need to have this.
您可以在外面喝完 抱歉 You're gonna have to finish it out here. l'm sorry.
- 成吧 要不你先进去吧然后… - 找个座位 -Okay, why don't you go in and.... -Get a seat.
里面见 l'll meet you in there.
我说 要是我有严重的肾病怎么办？我又不是… l mean, what if I have a really bad kidney thing? l'm not--
- 或许您应该在外面解决 - 好嘛 或许我应该 -Maybe you should finish it outside. -Yeah, maybe I should.
- 喜欢这座位嘛？ - 好位子啊 -Do you like these seats? -Great seats.
考虑到你得老喝水 我让你坐的靠过道 l'm giving you the aisle, considering all the water you've had.
- 专门为你找的呢 - 真好啊 -l'm looking out for you. -This is great.
- 多好的小剧院啊 - 是啊 很漂亮 -What a nice little theater. -Yeah, it's beautiful.
那是刚才不让我带水的那个女人吗？ ls that the same woman who just told me to get rid of the water?
是吧 我觉得是 Yeah, I think it is.
什么情况？她是干嘛的？在这工作还是客人啊？ What's the deal? What is she doing? Does she work here, or is she a guest?
- 我原以为她是在这工作的 - 我也是啊 -Yeah, I thought she was working. -Me, too.
不好意思 Excuse me.
- 打扰一下 - 嗯？ -Excuse me. -Yeah?
- 您在这儿工作吗？ - 不是 -Do you work here? -No.
那你凭什么刚才不让我带水？ How come you told me to get rid of the water then?
我看到你要带水进来 这不让带水 这是规定 l saw you coming in with water. There's no water, that's the rules.
我不明白了 关你什么事儿 你又不在这工作 l don't see how it was your concern. You don't work here.
这是规定 标志上写了"禁止携带食品和饮料入场" lt's the rules. The sign says, ''No food or drink in the theater.''
谁不想喝水啊 l'm sure we would all like to have water.
是哦 我们都快渴死了 你以为你是谁 走廊监控？ Yeah. We're all dying of thirst. What are you, the hallway monitor here?
- 你又是哪位可以不守规矩的？ - 我遵守黄金规则 你呢？ -Who are you that the rules don't apply? -l'm applying the golden rule. Are you?
我不觉得黄金规则在这儿适用 l don't think the golden rule applies here.
要是你带水了 你乐意让我告诉你不能带进来吗？ lf you had water, would you want me to tell you not to bring it in?
那社会公德呢？ How about common courtesy?
但它逾越不了黄金规则啊 那是最大的 But that doesn't supersede the golden rule. That's the big one.
你个疯子 You're nuts.
- 你才疯子 - 行了行了 -You're nuts. -All right.
无理取闹 Jackass.
"别把钢笔和铅笔带进来" ''Now, don't bring any pens or pencils in.''
安静点 屌丝 Quiet, loser.
"不好意思 康托尔夫人 我们要做作业啊" ''Excuse me, Mrs. Cantor, we've got homework.
"您忘了给我们布置作业了嘛" ''You forgot to give us homework.''
有的人真是没素质 Some people are just rude.
…她就坐在那儿 ...and she's sitting there.
现在她倒成客人了？ Now, is she a guest?
她是在那工作不成？ Does she work there?
谁都不是还不让我带水进去 She's just some person that wouldn't let me bring it in.
我们大吵了一架 We had this huge fight.
她就在那呢 就那儿 右边那个 There she is, right there, on the right.
她正和安妮迈克尔森聊天呢 莱恩迈克尔森的老婆 She's talking to Anne Michaelson, Lane Michaelson's wife.
- 她的聊天对象 - 那是莱恩迈克尔森的老婆？ -That's who she's talking to. -That's Lane Michaelson's wife?
那么明晚 你俩想去第二集放映前的晚宴嘛？ So tomorrow night, you guys want to go to dinner before part two?
- 不去 - 我想去看第二集 -No. -l do want to go to part two.
你得去看第二集 你已经是 ABC 大家庭的一份子了 You've gotta go to part two. You're part of the ABC family.
我们肯定会去看第二集 We're definitely going to part two.
好嘛 不过我们就不和你去晚宴了 Yeah, we're not going to dinner with you, though.
- 我们已经有安排了 - 成吧 没事儿 -We had already made plans. -That's all right.
- 我们没安排啊 我们不想和你去晚宴而已 - 闭嘴吧拉里 -We don't have plans. We don't wanna go to dinner with you. - Shut up Larry.
- 来杯冰玛格丽特？ - 冰玛格丽特啊 谢谢你 -Frozen margaritas? -Frozen margaritas, thank you.
我想去主要是因为她露的乳沟比那个时代该露的多得多 l actually wanna go 'cause she showed a lot of cleavage for that time.
别说了 Stop it.
那时她们不会穿那么低胸的 她也太… They didn't wear it that low, and she's really....
- 要我说 有点太过了 - 我猜是…乳沟 -lt was a little much, if you ask me. -l guess it is.... Cleavage.
- 冰冰冰！冻上头了！- 冷静 拉里 -Cold! Chest freeze! -Okay, Larry.
把你的舌头顶到你的… Put your tongue to the top of your....
不 你的舌头顶到上颚 No, your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
你还好吗？ Are you all right?
- 冻上头了 - 我懂了 这样 -Chest freeze. -l see, yeah.
太冰了 抱歉 lt was too cold, sorry.
你想来杯热茶或者什么吗？ Would you like some hot tea or something?
- 一会儿就好了 - 那么 安妮 你已经见过拉里了？ -lt'll go away. -So, Anne, you've met Larry?
不 我还没见过拉里 但我已经听说了很多你的事 No, I haven't met Larry, but l've heard a lot about you.
- 你好 很高兴认识你 - 我是杰夫格林 我们见过… -Hi, nice to meet you. -And l'm Jeff Greene, we met....
- 这有我能用的卫生间嘛？- 有 就在那 -ls there a bathroom I can use? -Yeah, right down there.
好 往右拐 走到头 Yeah, just to the right. Just go down to the end.
我得谢谢你的制片人、导演… l have to thank your producer, director...
甭管谁了 因为当时他们都不放那么多胸出来… whoever, because they didn't reveal that much bosom in that day....
- 你好哇 - 你好 -Hello. -Hi.
- 这是卫生间嘛？ - 是啊 怎么了？你要去嘘嘘吗？ -ls that a bathroom? -Yeah, why? Do you have to go potty?
是啊 我要去嘘嘘 Yeah, I do have to go potty.
- 你去吧 - 好的 -You can go in there. -Okay.
- 谢谢你 - 不客气 -Thank you. -You're welcome.
你在干什么呢？ What are you doing?
我在给我的娃娃梳头呢 l'm just brushing my doll's hair.
是嘛？她叫什么名字？ Yeah? What's her name?
朱迪 Judy.
朱迪！朱迪！朱迪！ ''Judy! Judy! Judy!''
好家伙 她头发还真长呢 Boy, she's got pretty long hair.
你觉不觉得有点太长了？ Do you think maybe it's too long?
是有点长 lt's kind of long.
是啊 你觉得你能不能给她理个发呢？ Yeah, do you think you could give it a haircut?
你想让我给她理发？ You want me to give it a haircut?
- 你行吗？ - 行吧 -Can you? -l guess.
- 好 - 好吧 -Okay. -All right.
- 看这玩意 - 啊哈 -See this thing? -Yeah.
它被称作瑞士军刀 lt's called a Swiss Army Knife.
你听说过瑞士嘛？ You heard of Switzerland?
是欧洲的一个国家 他们不爱打架 lt's a country in Europe, and they don't like to fight.
他们让别人为他们打架… They let everybody do their fighting for them...
他们去滑雪和吃巧克力 while they ski and eat chocolate.
剪到这儿 About right there.
噢 你想要那种像桃乐丝汉弥尔那样的嘛？ You wanna give it a little, kind of, Dorothy Hamill thing?
桃乐丝汉弥尔(Dorothy Hamill)：美国花样滑冰运动员，短发
是啊 Yeah.
好家伙 她头发可真厚啊 Boy, she's got really thick hair.
至少能变短啦 At least it'll be shorter.
好了 All right.
- 看啊 - 她看上去漂亮多了 -Yeah. -She looks much prettier.
我也这么觉得 瞧瞧这 我真心觉得我剪的不赖 l think so, too. Look at that. l really think I did a great job.
- 是啊 你剪的真好 - 是吧 我现在都想约她了 -Yeah, you did a great job. -Yeah, now l'd take her out.
好嘛 现在也更容易梳头了 看上去真棒 Yeah, now this is definitely easier to brush, and it looks great.
我跟你说啊 这看的跟法国人似的 特别法式 Can I tell you something? lt's a very French look. lt's very French.
- 她看上去更美了 - 好运啊 朱迪！ -She looks prettier. -Good luck, Judy!
谢谢你 Thank you.
- 这个卫生间居然没锁 - 我知道 -There's no lock on that bathroom door. -l know.
- 疯了吧 - 我知道 太荒唐了 -That's crazy. -l know. lt's insane.
这可是你在房子里重中之重的事 That's your top priority in a house.
- 上卫生间 - 是啊 没错 -ln the bathroom. -Yeah, of course.
- 你能在我去的时候给我把个门吗？ - 当然 -Will you guard the door while I go? -Sure.
两分钟 2 minutes.
- 妈咪 妈咪！- 塔拉 怎么啦宝贝儿？ -Mommy, mommy! -Tara, what is it, honey?
- 看看我娃娃的头发 - 你为什么把她头发剪了？ -Look at my doll's hair. -Why did you cut her hair?
我没剪！是他干的！ l didn't cut it! He did!
- 他剪了 - 真的吗？ -He cut it. -ls this true?
是的 她让我干的 她让我给它理个发 Yeah, she asked me. She asked me to give it a haircut.
你进了我女儿的房间还剪了她宝贝朱迪的头发？ You walked into my daughter's room and cut her Judy's hair?
- 不好看了 - 她请求我给它理发的 -lt's not fair. -She asked me to give it a haircut.
你没告诉她 或许这头发就长不回来了？ And did you happen to tell her that maybe it wouldn't grow back?
- 他没跟她说这事儿 - 我还以为她明白呢 -He didn't tell her about it. -l thought it was understood.
你怎么就不懂呢？ How could you not understand...
小女孩儿有丰富的想象力 她还极有天赋 that a little girl has a vivid imagination? She's extremely gifted.
对不起 Sorry.
因此这个小女孩就不知道她娃娃的头发不会再长回来了 And this little girl doesn't know that her dolly's hair won't grow back.
- 你知道她是谁吗？这是朱迪 - 我还以为… -Do you know who this is? This is Judy. -l thought--
她是珍藏款 我们找不到同款的另一个了 She is a collector's item. We can't find another one like this.
她出生之前我买的这个娃娃 l got this doll before she was born.
我能找到替代的 相信我可以 l can replace it, l'm sure I can.
你能找到替补的？这款就像自由豆豆娃 You can replace it? This is like Liberty, the Beanie Baby.
不再生产了 停产了 懂吗？回不来了 Out Of Production, OOP, okay? Not coming back.
- 再也长不回来了 - 这是什么？ -lt's never gonna grow back. -What is that?
我猜是我留了一缕在那 我有瑞士军刀… l guess I missed a strand there. l got a Swiss Army--
太丑了 妈咪！ lt's ugly, mommy!
我来解决 我有瑞士军刀 我能整好 Let me get it. I got a Swiss Army Knife. l could get that.
- 丑 这发型丑死了 - 上去吧 塔拉 -lt's ugly, the haircut's ugly! -Let's go, Tara.
她先前说看上去挺好的 她喜欢啊 She said it looked good earlier. She liked it.
- 不出所料 - 我还以为她明白… -Not a surprise. -l thought it was understood that....
散了吧 Go ahead.
老天爷啊 Jesus Christ.
谁不知道你剪掉娃娃的头发… Who doesn't know that when you cut a doll's hair...
- 就不会长回来了？ - 她应该知道的 -it doesn't grow back? -She should know better.
讲真 我觉得这娃娃更好看了 l thought the doll looked better, to tell you the truth.
- 我不知道她原本看上去啥样 - 很丑 头发垂到腰间了都 -l don't know what it looked like. -Ugly. lt was way down to her waist.
- 这娃娃叫什么？朱迪？ - 对 -What's the doll's name? Judy? -Yeah.
我没准能帮你搞定这事 行吗？ l might be able to help you with this, okay?
我女儿收藏了一堆娃娃 她房间里塞满了娃娃 My daughter has a huge doll collection. Her room is filled with dolls.
我觉得她没准有娃娃朱迪 l think she might have that Judy doll.
- 你觉得她会有娃娃朱迪？- 有点耳熟 我不确定 -You think she's got a Judy doll? -Sounds familiar. l'm not positive.
我们可以明天去一趟 溜进去 溜出来 搞定 We can go in tomorrow, zip in, zip out, boom.
- 她会想念这个娃娃嘛要是… - 不会 我女儿才不在乎呢 -Would she miss the doll if-- -No, my daughter's not gonna care.
她都不会注意到 好久没玩过了都 She won't notice. Hasn't played with it in a long time.
明天去家里一趟 看看有没有 We'll go by the house tomorrow, we'll check it out.
好 不然你看这 这场面会很难看的 Yeah, I mean, otherwise, you know, this is ugly here.
- 我懂 - 一下子我就摊上这事儿了… -l know. -All of a sudden I got this deal--
和 ABC 的合作也可能全泡汤了 真有可能 The whole ABC deal could go down the drain. lt really could.
说实话 我这辈子都没这么丢过脸 真的 Honestly, I have never been so humiliated in my life, really.
我搞砸了 l fucked up.
- 你现在是想搞笑吗？ - 不 我搞砸 -Are you trying to be funny now? -No. I fucked up
- 因为我现在可没这个心思 - 我搞砸了 -Because l'm really not in the mood. -l fucked up.
对 Yeah.
迈克尔森这可见识我了 见识的可多了呢 Michaelson really knows me. He knows a lot about me.
他到底看着啥了都？ What did he see exactly?
看光了 准确的说 Everything, exactly.
就像 想象一下某人推门而入能看到的最糟的情景 Like, imagine the worst moment a person can walk in on somebody.
我懂了 l got it.
你以为你自己一人 然后你又在卫生间里 You think you're alone, and you're in the bathroom.
- 会干什么 - 我懂了 -That's what it was. -l got it.
我不能冒着再在社交场合上碰见他的风险了 l cannot risk running into him at social functions...
在你那些 ABC 的派对和放映会上 at your little ABC parties and screenings.
我觉得你得考虑考虑去别家吧 l think you're gonna have to just go somewhere else.
你怎么想的这是？ Are you out of your mind?
- 你想就因为这事儿终止合作嘛 - 是的 我这么想的 -You wanna end the deal because of this? -Yeah, I do.
我们已经不能去 NBC 了… We can't go to NBC anymore...
因为你和通用电气的什么环保纠纷 because of your environmental problems with General Electric.
HBO 你知道发生啥事了吧 也没戏了 HBO, you know what happened with them. lt's all running out.
这是你的错 That's your fault.
我有消息要告诉你 你没必要太担心… l got news for you. You might not have to worry...
因为这一切都可能都毫无意义 because it might all be moot.
怎么了？ Why?
要是我没法找到能换的娃娃 就结束了 Because if I don't replace the doll, it's over.
要离婚啊？ Divorce?
- 这是要离婚吗？- 是啊 离婚吧 -ls it a divorce? -Yeah, it's a divorce.
去打包行李吧 你得搬出去了 So start packing up 'cause you're moving out.
我今晚不想再和你说话了 l wish you wouldn't talk anymore tonight.
我希望今晚你啥也别再和我说了 l wish you wouldn't say one more thing to me.
- 确定要这么干嘛？ - 确定 来吧 -Sure you wanna do this? -l'm positive, come on.
你不觉得萨米会注意到嘛？她不会发现嘛？ You don't think Sammy's gonna mind? She's not gonna notice?
她有成百上千个娃娃呢 她注意不过来 She's got a million dolls. She's won't notice anything.
欢迎来到娃娃世界 Here we are in Doll World.
这都是娃娃 看看这堆 So, there's dolls here, look at all these.
你都想不到我在这些娃娃上砸了多少钱了 You have no idea how much money l've spent on dolls.
- 我了个天 瞧瞧这 - 这不是朱迪吧 是吗？ -Holy cow, look at this. -This isn't Judy, is it?
这个？ This?
- 不 我觉得朱迪的发色要再浅点 - 好吧 我再看看 -No, I think Judy's hair was lighter. -Okay, all right, l'll look.
她看上去像瑞士人 She looks Swiss.
她看着像朱迪 像瑞士人吗？好吧 She looks like Judy. She looks Swiss? All right.
上面是什么？有东西吗？上面还有娃娃吗？ What's up here? Any stuff up here? There's dolls up here?
找到咯 There you go.
- 不是 - 是啊 这不就是嘛 -No. -Yes, it is, of course it is.
不 这不是她 No, it's not her.
- 这是朱迪啊 - 不 这不是朱迪！ -That's Judy. -No, it's not Judy!
- 我见过朱迪 这就是朱迪 - 不是 朱迪是棕眼睛 -l've seen Judy, that's Judy. -No, Judy has brown eyes.
- 她是蓝眼睛的 - 得了吧 你不知道眼睛颜色 -She has blue eyes. - Oh You don't know the eyes.
- 我知道因为… - 我看见我女儿叫她朱迪了 -l do know the eyes 'cause-- -l see my daughter call her Judy.
"组曲：棕眼朱迪" 我当时在脑子里念 ''Suite: Judy Brown Eyes,'' l said it in my head.
啥？ "组曲：棕眼朱迪"？ You said, ''Suite: Judy Brown Eyes''?
我记得那首歌是《组曲：蓝眼朱迪》… l know the song is Suite.: Judy Blue Eyes...
她有一双棕色眼睛 是棕眼睛 and she has brown eyes. lt's brown eyes.
- 这不是朱迪！ - "组曲：棕眼朱迪" -That's not Judy! -Suite: Judy Brown Eyes.
真要命 Holy shit.
哪儿去了… Where the....
这里面有些娃娃真可怕 Some of these dolls are scary.
上面有一堆秃头的 A bunch of bald ones up here.
- 朱迪 - 啥？ -Judy. -What?
- 朱迪！是她 - 太好了 -Judy! lt's her. -Yeah.
- 我的天！你干嘛呢… - 我得够着 -My God! What are you.... -l needed this.
- 苏西来了 - 日 赶紧的 -Susie's here. -Shit. Come on.
- 杰夫？- 怎么办啊？ -Jeffrey? -What do I do?
- 塞你夹克里 - 杰夫？ -Stick it in your jacket. -Jeffrey?
- 太大了 我塞哪儿啊？ - 想办法 她上来了 -lt's too big. Where do I put it? -Do something, she's coming up.
- 给我 - 杰夫 我看见你车了 -Give this to me. -Jeffrey, I saw your car.
你他妈在这干什么呢？你应该先打个招呼！ What the fuck are you doing here? You're supposed to call first!
- 杰夫？ - 那么你要做的就是… -Jeffrey? -So what you wanna be doing is....
你需要一个电钻 You need a drill.
这什么情况？你在这干嘛呢？ What is going on here? What are you doing here?
- 我夜不能寐啊… - 你这是哪出？ -The amount of sleep that l've lost-- -What are you doing here?
听着 我告诉你 萨米的架子一直萦绕在我脑边 Listen, and l'll tell you. Sammy's shelf has been on my mind.
我一直想着这架子太松了 l've always thought this shelf was loose.
然后我就过来了 我拉了拉测试一下它 And I came here, and I pushed it and tested it.
- 娃娃都掉地上了 - 我怎么就不信你说的呢？ -All the dolls fell, right there. -Why don't I believe you?
我哪知道 l don't know.
这么多地儿你他妈为什么就跑到萨米的房间里了？ What the hell are you doing here in Sammy's room, of all places?
你还带拉里过来就帮你弄架子？ And you brought Larry to help you with the shelf?
我对架子摆放很了解 我家里的架子都是我装上去的… l know a lot about shelving. l put up all the shelves in my house and--
你装架子…我觉得难以置信 You put the shelves up.... l find that hard to believe.
- 他对架子摆放了解的可多了 - 我把它们安到… -He knows a lot about shelving. -l put them all up--
这就突然就冒出了个家装达人了？ Mr. California Closets over here all of a sudden?
听着 赶紧…滚蛋 顺便提一句… Look, get the hell.... Leave. And by the way...
你以为我没在昨晚放映会上瞅见你嘛？ do you think I didn't see you at the screening last night?
- 你以为我看不见你？ - 好吧 -You think I didn't notice you? -Okay.
死胖子 还想躲 你以为你是隐身人嘛 Fat fuck, trying to hide, like you're Mr. lnconspicuous.
- 滚吧！- 你今晚会再去看第二集吗？ -Get out! -Are you going back tonight for part two?
也许吧 l might be.
你觉得怎么样？能行吗？ What do you think? Do you think it's gonna work?
我希望能行 费死劲了 l hope it works. lt was painful.
你不觉得迈克尔森的老婆…她会不会… You don't think Michaelson's wife.... Do you think she's gonna have....
她不会对此有问题吗？ She's not gonna have any problem with this?
- 只给个头 就一个头？ - 没事儿吧 -With the head, just the head? -That's fine.
她那儿有身子 没事儿的 She's got the body. You're fine.
- 我们安上去就行了 - 安上头 -We'll just attach it. -Attach the head.
没错 很好 没毛病 哥们 我那块儿开始痒痒了 Yeah, good, that's fine. Boy, that's starting to itch me down there.
怎么啦 萨米宝贝？ What's wrong, Sammy, darling?
妈咪 有人拔掉了朱迪的头！ Mommy, somebody cut off Judy's head!
哈？ Yeah?
朱迪 我拿到了朱迪 Judy, I got Judy.
她身体呢？ Where's her body?
它没带身体 lt didn't come with a body.
- 这是正宗的朱迪嘛？- 相信我 这就是朱迪 -ls this an authentic Judy? -Believe me, that is Judy.
成吧 你要么不进来吧？ All right. Why don't you come in?
我上楼看看合不合适 l'll take it upstairs and make sure it fits.
别担心啦 肯定合适 Don't worry, it's gonna fit.
看看就知道了 We'll just see about that.
- 我能用一下你家卫生间嘛？ - 嗯 -May I use your bathroom? -Yeah.
就那儿 走廊那个 Right here, in the hall.
- 您好 - 好啊 -How are you doing? -Good.
- 换新锁呢？ - 新锁 -Putting a new lock in? -A new lock.
干得漂亮 Beautiful, excellent.
- 去吧 - 好的 -Go ahead. -Okay.
- 别离开你的岗位 行吗？- 当然 -Don't leave your post, okay? -Sure.
这多好啊 That's great.
- 我觉得她修好了 - 非常好 -l think she's fixed. -Terrific.
- 那么 谢谢你 我很感谢 - 客气了 你太客气了… -So, thank you. I appreciate it. -You're very welcome, and again...
我再次为所有发生的事 剪头发啥的…道个歉 l'm just sorry about the whole thing and cutting it and....
你觉得这能行吗？ You think this is gonna be okay?
她不会注意到不同之处吗？ Do you think she's gonna notice the difference?
不会 她绝对不会发现有哪儿不一样的 No, she'll never know the difference really.
要是她能发现 你就应该把她送到那种天才学校去了 lf she does, you should enroll her at some kind of school for gifted children.
她已经在默尔曼了 她有天赋 非常有天赋 She's already at Merman. She is gifted, she's highly gifted.
我们这个可能骗不了她 We might not be able to pull it off.
是啊 只可惜她都不知道 这头发剪了就长不回来了 Yeah, it's a shame she didn't know that the hair wasn't gonna grow back, yeah.
我是说 毕竟她是一个聪明的女孩 l mean, 'cause she's a bright girl.
- 她有丰富的想象力 - 对 她肯定有 -She has a vivid imagination. -No, l'm sure she does.
无论如何 我再次道歉 你会去看第二集吗？ Anyway, so again, l'm sorry. You'll be at part 2?
- 会的 我会去 - 好 成了 很好 -Yeah, l'll be there. -Yeah, okay, great.
- 好了 结果好就一切都好 - 拜拜 -All right, all's well that ends well. -Bye-bye.
你知道吗 我真心觉得她短头发更好看些 You know, I actually think she looked pretty good with the short hair.
- 不是吧 - 我日 -No. -Shit.
天呐 God.
头呢？ Where's the head?
我知道你们拿了娃娃的头 去哪儿了？ l know you took the doll's head. Where is it?
头他妈去哪儿了？ Where's the fucking head?
我不知道 l don't know.
这孩子在家都歇斯底里了… The kid is home hysterical...
因为她的娃娃 朱迪 被斩首了… because her doll, Judy, has been decapitated...
因为你们两个变态… 'cause you 2 sickos...
神他妈知道为什么 把头拿走了 took the head for God knows what reason...
你们是要施巫术啊 去哪了？ some voodoo shit you're doing. Where is it?
别挠你蛋了 赶紧告诉我去哪了！ Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is!
把他妈的头给我找来 行吗？ Just get me the fucking head, all right?
你俩 我受够了 你个死四眼和你个死胖子 Both of you, 'cause l've had it, you four-eyed fuck and you fat piece of shit!
把头给我找来！ Get me the head!
- 我受不了她 老哥 她就是个疯子 - 我们现在该怎么办？ -l didn't need that. Man, she's nuts. -What the hell are we gonna do now?
我可以开回到迈克尔森家 l could drive back to the Michaelsons.
我不觉得她会把头还回来 l don't think she's gonna give us the head back.
对 我猜不会 No, I guess not.
- 你干嘛呢？- 鸡儿痒 -What are you doing? -My penis itches me.
没准短发的那个头在她那儿 Maybe she's got the short-haired version.
- 我们可以把短发朱迪拿回去 - 对啊 -We can get the short-haired Judy back. -Yeah.
- 她也可能已经扔了 - 不会 我们这才走多久 -She may have thrown her out. -No, we were just there.
把短发的头给苏西和你女儿会出事吗？ What about giving the short-haired head back to Susie and your daughter?
她们不会察觉到不同的 They won't know the difference.
你女儿不会察觉到头发被剪了吗？ Your daughter's won't know that the hair was cut?
我女儿和苏西都不会发现异样的 My daughter and Susie are not gonna know the difference.
- 你确定？ - 我知道 我们能全身而退的 -You think so? -l know we can get away with that.
- 我鸡鸡好痒 - 你知道吗？ -My penis is itching. -You know what?
你把娃娃头塞到那里 You put that doll head down there...
谁知道那头发是什么做的？ and who knows what the hair is made out of?
我给你讲 你这是过敏的反应 You've got an allergic reaction, l'm telling you.
是啊 我觉得我都出疹子了 Yeah, I think I got some kind of rash.
我得检查一下我的鸡鸡 l gotta check out my penis.
现在我得去看医生了？那可有意思了 l have to go to the doctor now? That's gonna be a lot of fun.
"你这是怎么出的疹子？" ''Where did you get the rash?''
"我把娃娃头塞我裤裆里了 医生" ''l stuck a doll's head down my pants, Doctor.
"感觉特别好" ''lt feels good to me.''
嗨 抱歉打扰你一下 Hi, l'm sorry to bother you.
我在想…这听上去有点儿疯狂 l was wondering.... This is gonna sound a little crazy.
你还有短发的那个头吗… Do you have the short-haired head...
我剪掉的那个？ the one that I cut?
好嘛 你是想要短发朱迪的头？ Right, you want the short-haired Judy head?
是的 Yeah.
你为什么想要短发朱迪的头？ Why would you want that short-haired Judy head?
我就是喜欢 你懂的 l just like it, you know.
好吧 我不知道 我去看看还在不在吧 Okay, you know what? I don't know. l'll go and see if it's there.
谢谢 非常感谢 Thank you, l'd appreciate it.
- 好吧 - 谢谢你 -Fine. -Thank you.
- 在这等着 - 我能用一下你家卫生间吗？ -Just wait right here. -May I use your bathroom?
- 嗯 在右边… - 我知道 右边那个 -Yeah, it's right-- -l know, it's right over here.
- 这锁不管用啊 - 我知道啊 所以我又去拿了些部件 -The lock's not working. -l know. I had to go get some parts.
这可好了 Great.
- 瞧瞧 - 今天是你幸运日 -Look at this. -lt's your lucky day.
好吧 太好了 非常感谢你 Okay, great, thank you so much.
这个短发 我觉得特别合适 你觉得呢？ The short-hair, it's very becoming I think, you know?
嗯 挺好的 很好 Yeah, fine. Good.
好的 Okay.
- 今晚见了 第二集 - 好的 -See you tonight, part 2. -Right.
你肯定不相信我刚才看见什么了 You are not gonna believe what I just saw.
也是你的女儿 知道吧 lt's your daughter, too, you know.
好了 All right.
有些地方不大对啊 Something's not right here.
这不头嘛 That's the head.
- 是那个头？- 是朱迪的 -This is the head? -That's Judy.
不是这个头吧 哪不对啊 This is not the head. There's something wrong.
- 是啊 就是这个头 是这个头 - 你确定？ -Sure, it's the head, that's the head. -Are you sure?
没错 Yeah.
- 感觉少了点什么 - 我不知道 总之 我们还回来了 -Something seems off. -l don't know. All right, we brought it back.
晚些时候见吧 l'll see you later.
- 第二集见？你今晚要去？ - 嗯 也许去吧 -See you at part 2? You going tonight? -Yeah, maybe.
你的助理在和什么人约会嘛？ ls your assistant going out with anybody?
你不能和我的助理约会 好吧？ You're not going out with my assistant, okay?
- 我就问问 - 不行 太奇怪了 -l just asked you a question. -No, it's too weird.
你怎么知道我就是想和她约会呢？ How do you know I wanna go out with her?
你一问那问题 我就知道你在想什么 Becasue when you asked that question, l know what you're talking about.
我又不傻 l'm not an idiot.
- 小声点 苏西能听见 - 嗨 你好吗？ -Quiet, Susie can hear you. -Hi, how are you?
- 天呐 是迈克尔森家 - 我的天 -God, the Michaelsons. -My God.
- 那个小女孩 她拿着娃娃 - 真漂亮 -The little girl. She got the doll. -Beautiful.
- 瞧瞧这 - 一切都好 -Look at that. -Everything's good.
大卫家来了 There are the Davids.
说真的 我现在都没法直视那人了 Honestly, I can't even look at that guy now.
一想到就胃疼 lt makes me sick to my stomach.
呃 我马上回来 我要去趟卫生间 You know what? l'll be right back. l'm going to the bathroom.
- 谢丽儿 - 怎么了？ -Cheryl. -What?
- 过来一下 - 怎么了？ -Come here for a second. -What?
帮我个忙 看看女厕所里有没有人 Do me a favor. See if anybody is in the ladies' room?
为什么？ Why?
男厕所里难闻的要死 lt's an olfactory nightmare in that men's room.
有人在吗？ ls anybody in here?
- 危机解除 - 很好 就两分钟 -Coast is clear. -Great, 2 minutes.
两分钟 好的 2 minutes, okay.
- 你好哇 - 嗨 -Hello. -Hi.
- 谢谢你补上了朱迪的头发 - 不用客气 -Thank you for fixing Judy's hair. -You're welcome.
妈咪妈咪 那个怪叔叔在卫生间 他裤子里有硬硬的东西！ Mommy, that bum is in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants!
翻译:小年糕 校对:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net